


Harry Potter and the Ultimate Harem

by beanisfineanddandy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Holy shit you’re in for a ride, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, That is all I have to say
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanisfineanddandy/pseuds/beanisfineanddandy
Summary: Harry finally puts his testosterone to good use.
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

“Look at me Potter!” Snape’s pure black eyes peered into Harry’s. “Merlin’s Beard! Your cock is smaller than a house elf’s!” Harry’s face curled in anger. “Please sir, use the Engorgio Spell to fix this shit!” Snape’s cruel voice reverberated around the dungeon. “You will have to prove yourself worthy first.” Harry looked up at Snape’s towering figure. “But sir, I already fucked Ginny and that Asian bitch several times!” Snape laughed once more. “You seriously didn’t think I knew about the love potion? That’s date rape bitch. You’re going to Azkaban and getting your asshole resized by some dementors motherfucker.” Harry wept and threw himself on the ground. “Please Snape don’t tell anyone. I’ll do anything!” Snape’s eyes widened maliciously. “Anything?”

Two years ago…  
“Neville! What are you doing with my Nimbus 2000!” Neville paused and took the broomstick out of his asshole. “Damn it Harry my wand broke a week ago and I don’t have shit to jam up my ass!” “Get out of my room Neville! You know that I’m a good Christian boy.” Neville scowled. “If only you knew the power of tugging dick.” Harry scoffed and walked away. 

Harry walked into the common room to meet Ron and Hermoine. He walked in and definitely saw Ron, but he was crouched in front of the fireplace in an awkward position, and where tf was Hermione? Harry took a few quiet steps closer, and couldn’t believe what he fucking saw. Hermione’s head could be seen in the flames, her mouth filled with Ron’s rock hard dick. Harry suppressed a yelp, and a laugh, as Ron’s dick was small asf. He was surprised how Hermione was satisfied with that tiny ass shit. Harry walked out of the common room, glancing back one last time, lowkey wondering how it would play out if he joined in with them.

Harry continued down the hall and felt tired. “Goddamn it I’m tired. I need to take a fucking bath.” He entered and proceeded to take off his robes. He slipped into the warm bubbly water, letting the popping sound of the bubbles lull him to sleep. He suddenly felt warm air on his dick. He opened his eyes to see Moaning Myrtle sucking his cock. “Jesus Christ Myrtle what are you doing?” Myrtle replied while expertly milking his broomstick, “I’m just sucking the best dick I’ve had in centuries.” Harry attempted to argue but not before the Weasley twins walked in. “Hey Harry!” they said in unison. “Aw Shit.” Harry thought. Myrtle smirked and turned invisible. Harry struggled to save face as the tantalizing ghost teased his towering cock. “Doing all right eh Harry?” Finally Harry could take no more and came into the water gasping. The twins looked in horror and interest as a white cloud erupted around the Boy Who Lived. Humiliated, Harry realized that he had to get out of the situation. He quickly bolted out of the bath and ran out, with his dick flopping around like a Hungarian Horntail. Students pointed and stared at Potter’s throbbing wand as he raced through the corridor. Desperate to escape attention, he ran into an adjacent hallway and into another common room. When he got inside he closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief. Harry turned around and his heart sank, for he realized that he was in the Slytherin Common room. He attempted to hide in the couch and mushed himself under the cushions. Suddenly Draco Malfoy entered the room and walked toward the couches. To Harry’s horror, his member was so erect that it was sticking out of the cushions. He prayed that it would go down but to no avail. Before he could react, Draco sat directly on his flaming throbbing dick. 

As he slammed his ass onto the cushion, he could hear a tear as Harry’s dick bent at a 90 degree angle. Draco shot up in surprise, and turned around to gaze at the spot where he was sitting. “What in the bloody hell was that?” At the same time, though, Harry found the sudden pain in his dick to be quite pleasing. He groaned from lack of tension on his dick as Draco stood up.

The blond heard a muffled “Do it again,” and was shocked further when he thought the words came from the couch. Upon closer inspection, it seemed his hypothesis was correct, and saw a body hidden inside. “Potter, is that you?” Harry sighed, there was no use hiding now. He slid out and let his back hit the floor, not caring about getting humiliated anymore, and not deterred in the slightest that he was naked in front of his own nemesis. Draco didn’t hide his examining eyes as it raked over the body before him, stopping at Harry’s erect member. He felt himself get hard at the sight, and without thinking, knelt between Harry’s legs and grasped his cock and stroked. Harry gasped, and looked down to lock eyes with Draco, a smirk apparent on his face. Before Harry could move, Draco slid a finger underneath his foreskin, scraping his nail across the flesh. Harry let out a stifled moan. Draco chuckled in response. “Enjoying yourself, Chosen One?” Harry sneered back, but it fell short as he felt Draco’s nail move from under his foreskin to the tip of his dick, gliding through the slit. Harry felt his insides shaking with need. “Fuck you, Malfoy.” The comment only seemed to drive Draco further, as he used his other hand to pull out a fancy looking quill. Harry stared at it with fear and curiosity as he felt the tip of it slide up his shaft and slowly, maybe too slowly, replace where Draco’s nail was positioned at the slit. Harry’s eyes widened, knowing what was to come next. Draco seemed to sense his surprise. “Scared, Potter?” Harry locked eyes with Draco once more, but immediately shut them as he yelled out in pleasure when Draco, finally, pushed the quill into Harry’s dick. The sensation was mind boggling, and Harry felt his brain liquify as Draco pushed the object in deeper and deeper. It would probably give him some sort of infection, but his logic was too clouded with lust to care. He wasn’t even able to move his arms to stop the nonsense, the want for Draco to continue kept Harry pinned to the floor. He doubted he would be able to do much anyway, having left his wand at the bath. Once satisfied, Draco gave Harry’s erection one last squeeze, and wrapped his fingers around the base, in place of a cock ring. The boy seemed to be some sort of masochist, and luckily, Draco had much more in store. With a swift motion with his free hand, Draco tugged at his trousers, and out sprang his 14 inch aching hard-on. Yes, 14 bloody inches. Little does anyone know, Draco used to be a black man with a big, black dick. However, black people didn’t have as many rights as white people, so with a little magic, Draco transformed into the white beauty he was presently.

If Harry was a masochist, then Merlin on a broomstick, Draco was a sadist. He got off on Harry writhing beneath him, appearing needy with pain that only Draco could give him. He hovered over Harry, his glasses askew and his hair even messier than it normally was. Draco bit down on Harry’s neck, piercing the skin, and Draco licked the metallic taste of blood. Harry let out a guttural moan, and managed to grip onto Draco’s shoulders, as if to brace himself for what would come next. Suddenly, without warning, Draco rammed his dick into Harry’s tight ass. Harry cried out in ecstasy. The raw pain from no preparation sent jolts straight to his cock, which was still constricted by Draco’s hand and the quill. Harry was so aroused he thought he would burst. But then, Draco started moving. He thrusted into Harry repeatedly, almost pulling all the way out, but then quickly snapping his hips forward to fill the Gryffindor with his shaft, balls deep. Harry’s cries tried to sound like words, but Draco would fuck him into incomprehensibility. “Fuck, Potter, you’re so bloody tight. You virgin ponce.” Harry flushed at the berating as Draco growled out his words with every thrust. “I bet you’ve just been waiting for someone to fuck you this good. Is wanking not good enough for the Savior?” With that, Draco buried his dick into the wizard below him and came explosively. Harry screamed and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Draco was so deep inside him that he thought his cum would start dripping out his mouth. The Slytherin panted above him, and Harry expected Draco to get off immediately… but he was wrong. Slowly, he began thrusting into Harry’s cum-filled hole, apparently still erect even after his over-the-top orgasm. Not only that, Harry believed Draco’s fat dick caused some anal tearing or something, because his ass hurt like hell as Draco pounded into him again. So, filled with cum and blood acting as some form of lubricant and Draco’s dick, Harry yelled at the top of his lungs in pleasure. He didn’t even care if anyone heard him, and completely forgot that they were literally on the Slytherin common room floor. To top it all off, Draco’s fingers did not leave Harry’s cock the entire time, blocking him from his own release. But Harry oh so wanted to, the fucking was absolutely incredible, Harry would definetly give Draco that. He involuntarily bucked into Draco’s abdomen, desperate for friction, but the act only made Draco angry. He bit into Harry’s earlobe, hard enough that he could probably wear an earring now.

The room was filled with moans and screams, and shortly Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson stalked in, shocked to stillness at the sight before them. They started jacking off, and Harry thought that getting dominated by three Slytherin was hot asf. Draco came into Harry once again, sending him overboard, except that his cock was still greatly constricted. It throbbed as Draco slowly pulled out and sat back on his haunches. Harry ached for release, it was to the point where it hurt, which just turned him on more of course. Draco smirked as he finally uncurled his fingers from Harry’s prick and slowly pulled out the quill. Once out, Draco stood up, and pondered leaving Harry the way he was—whining,desperate for release, all hot and bothered on the floor—but he knew the brave savior would get revenge on him later if he did. So, Draco RKO’d Harry’s dick, and Harry let out a bloodcurdling scream as his jizz shot up and landed on every surface of the room. He couldn’t control himself, the nut was too powerful. It would’ve surely defeated Voldemort himself. Harry came and came and came and it seemed it would never end, and then it did. Harry sat up on shaky arms, panting, and was pretty sure he completely milked his balls dry. No way there would be anything left. He looked over at the other three in the room, who were completely drenched in his semen. Harry readjusted his glasses and braced himself on the couch as he stood up. “Guess we need to take a bath, don’t we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title derived from Sonic’s Ultimate Harem by Lil’ Soniq on fanfiction
> 
> More to come


	2. Chapter 2

“Are you sure you want me to drink this Harry?” Cho said. Harry grinned evilly. “Of course. This shit will make you taste like Ginny. Cuz let’s be honest you’re a cheap Chinese knock-off of Ginny.” Cho started sniffling. “Really? Alright then.” Cho took the cup and swallowed. Harry grinned even more. “Now the first person she sees will be the person she wants to fuck.” Suddenly Ginny burst in. “Sup Harry. You want to go into the Room of Requirement to get one last nut in?” Cho’s eyes started glowing. “Holy shit Ginny you wanna put your tongue in my Chamber of Secrets?” Ginny turned to her and suddenly her tits looked delectable. “Oh fuck yeah.”

Literally 3 seconds later both ends of Ginny’s wand were rammed up their cooches, and their asses slapped together with every thrust. The sound was erotic as Harry started jacking it in the corner. He tugged on his dick so hard he could’ve torn it right off. “Merlin!” Ginny thrust back on the wand so hard that her vagina swallowed it whole, along with Cho at the other side, never to be seen again. Harry came explosively, nearly filling the room with his jizz and nearly drowning the two of them. 

**

“Harry Potter! So good to see you my boy!” Slughorn trumpeted. He held up a tiny bottle of Felix Felicia. “This little baby will make you super lucky.” 

“Wait a fucking minute.” Harry thought. “Why am I not using this shit to fight Voldemort?” He quickly walked up to the fat potions master and asked seductively, “Mr Slughorn? Can I use that potion to fight Voldemort?” Slughorn looked at him with surprise. “Merlin's Beard! Do you know how much this shit cost me? I’m going to use this to fuck those Veelas at the next Quidditch match. God knows those French bitches will get a taste of this Scandanavian cock!” Harry nodded sadly and walked away. 

Over the sounds of Ron and Hermoine vigorously grinding on the bed, he thought about how he could get that potion to solve his problems including his recent erectile dysfunction. He realized that the only way to get the potion would be to make it. He would have to get the ingredients from all over the world to make the lucky potion. Harry sprang to his feet. He unpacked his Firebolt broomstick and prepared to shoot off into the sky. “Oi Ron! Hermoine! You’re going to have to help me with this quest shit!” The pair groaned in unison as cock and vagina intertwined as one. The pair reluctantly got off the bed and wrapped their legs around the broomstick and went back to fucking. “Oh my god!” Hermione shrilled. “I think I got a splinter up my puss!” Ron smiled. “Thanks Harry. Sometimes I need to give Hermy over here a warmup fuck before I go balls deep.” The trio mounted on the Firebolt and sped away as flecks of sperm dropped off the back. 

“First ingredient for the potion: Unicorn Horn Powder, ground up as a base for luck.” Harry said. “Got it?”  
“Nom nom nom nom munch mmmmmmmmmm….” Ron mumbled as he began his evening fuck by nibbling Hermoine’s clit. “Oh my god Ron now go counterclockwise you ginger fuck!” Ron eagerly followed her request and snarled back, “Shut the fuck up you cock slut.” Harry gritted his teeth and flew through the sky, trying to find a place to land. Suddenly an arrow shot right through the air impaling itself right in Ron’s ginger dick. 

“AAAAAAAAAAAA! My fucking dick!” 

“Shit! Centaurs!” Harry shouted. “Ron! Keep nibbling you fucker I’m so close to climax!” Hermoine moaned, not noticing the arrows in her time of need. Harry landed the broomstick on the misty ground and turned to Ron’s bloody member. It was a poor sight. Evidently an arrow pierced obliquely through one’s cock makes it shrivel more than an Eskimo’s penis. “Fuck Fuck Fuck!” Ron groaned. Hermoine looked at Ron with concern in her eyes. “Ronnie? Does it hurt baby?” 

“NO FUCKING SHIT IT HURTS YOU MUGGLE FUCK!” Without saying a word, Hermoine opened wide and swallowed his dick while which was easy since Ron’s dick had retracted as much as it could due to the arrow’s penetration right through his hole. Harry turned to see Hermoine sucking Ron’s dick and preparing for the inevitable. “Hermoine? Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” Ron’s eyes pulsated with fear. “Oh god don’t! NO!” Hermoine closed her eyes and bit down on the dick, then pulling up, taking up the arrow with it. Ron screamed in agony as Hermoine’s panties grew moist after listening to his moans. Hermoine emerged triumphant with the arrow in her mouth. “Uh Oh.” Harry said. He pointed to a piece of the arrowhead still impaled on Ron’s dick. “I’ll take care of this.” Harry said. He brandished his wand and pointed straight at Ron’s dick. “Accio Arrowhead!” The bronze arrowhead ripped through what was left of Ron’s dick tearing off skin and popping even more blood vessels. Ron screamed in even more agony which was quickly subdued when Hermoine whispered a spell and pointed her wand straight at her mouth. “Blowaris Jobis!” She then proceeded to suck Ron’s dick even better than ever before with magical forces moving her jaw in perfect position to give the best head that magic could offer. Ron’s dick gave a pitiful shudder as a mixture of blood, cum, and Hermoine’s saliva pumped out the end of the poor boy’s penis. At the end of the ordeal, Ron collapsed on the ground, faint with exhaustion. Hermoine spent and tired, slumped next to a tree to relax her jaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On hiatus indefinitely until further notice
> 
> Apologies...


End file.
